Time After Time
by DangerouslyYours
Summary: "We were never best friends." He told her. She felt her thirteen year old heart break. It wasn't like she believed him, but the words hurt all the same. She knew she would be there when he finally realized he needed her for he was Edward and she was Bella. He broke her heart, and she let him. Can love be found when trust has been shattered?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- I am starting a new story. I've found some inspiration, and I needed to write this. This will be slightly angsty, which is a bit of departure from my normal fics, but oh well.**

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**Prologue **

_Lyin' in my bed I hear the clock tick_

_And think of you_

_Caught up in circles confusion_

_Is nothing new_

_Flashback warm nights_

_Almost left behind_

_Suitcase of memories_

_Time after_

I watch him as he walks past my house, and I can't help but sigh at the sight of him. He looks the same as ever, but he's different at the same time. He no longer smiles, well at least at me.

He trudges home miserably with his head downcast while his sister is further ahead up the block. He briefly glances at my window, and I quickly duck to prevent him from seeing me. We used to be best friends, and I would run in the house and wave to him from my window everyday as he kept up the rest of his walk home. I peek through my curtains to see that he was no longer looking and kept down the block.

With a mournful sigh, I fall onto my bed to think about him.

Now, I know must seem like I am some sort of crazy stalker, but that is most definitely not the case. I just long desperately for a boy who will never be mine. I think upon on my childhood memories featuring him fondly, and it kills me to know that they are somewhat bitter. He destroyed everything good when he told me in no uncertain words he wanted nothing to do with me.

We were thirteen and you can imagine how devastating that had been to my little thirteen year old heart. He didn't show any remorse, and he quickly departed from my house with as much as a glance. Now at seventeen, I still feel the need to watch him even if it is to torture myself mercilessly.

There are few things I know at this point in my life. The first is that my best friend in the whole world hates me.

Secondly, no matter what I will always be there for him.

And lastly, he would always own a huge part of my heart because unfortunately I was in love with someone who didn't want my love.

I just needed to figure out a way to get Edward to realize that I've always been there, and will always continue to be there.

_EPOV_

I saw the flutter of the curtains and a flash of brown hair as I passed the house of my former best friend Bella. I sighed, which was melancholic even to my ears. I knew I was an asshole when I told her all that shit I did when we were thirteen, but at the time all these feelings were beginning to bombard me. I needed space, and I couldn't do that with her constantly around. My life was spiraling out of control, and she didn't need to see that.

I came back later that summer practically unrecognizable. I had a growth spurt, and had filled out a bit while I was at camp. My dad took me to a dermatologist to see about clearing up my acne, and I traded in my glasses for contacts. I wanted desperately to see Bella when I first arrived home, but just as neared her house I remembered the last words I spoke to her. '_We were never best friends. How could we be? You know nothing about me.'_ Of course, not all of that was necessarily true considering the fact that we had known each other practically since diapers.

Our mothers had been friends since they were in middle school, and Bella and I had clicked. Of course, I went and fucked all that up. I never actually told my mom what really happened between us only that there was a falling out. I suspected she knew more than she let on, but she dropped the subject. However, other things she refused to drop. She realized eventually that I had problems that needed fixing. Now here I am, a senior in high school, alone and miserable because of my own actions. We may have fixed some things back then, but not everything can be fixed by talking.

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A/N- Leave me a review to let me know what you think.

The song is Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- Well here's the second chapter, I'm not sure of my posting schedule yet so you'll have to wait and see. This chapter is told exclusively through Edward's POV. All mistakes are mine and I don't own Twilight.**

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**Chapter 2**

**A guide on how to end your friendship with a girl who has been your best friend since birth**

**Step 1: Stop hanging out with your best friend**

**Step 2: Make up lame excuses for why you can't hang**

**Step 3: Do the opposite of advice given to you by someone with experience**

**Step 4: Tell her she knows nothing**

**Step 5: Change everything and pretend it's okay**

_Even the best fall down sometimes_

_Even the wrong words seem to rhyme_

_Out of the doubt that fills my mind_

_I somehow find_

_You and I collide_

EPOV

It's the last week of eighth grade, and all I can think about is how to avoid my best friend. Every time she has been around me lately, I get this fluttery feeling in my stomach. It doesn't go away though, and so I have had to find excuses as to why we can't hangout. It's really weighing on me how exhausting it is to make excuses.

I used to be able to pull them out of my ass, but now I think I have used every known one. There was babysitting, studying, tutoring, etc. The awful thing about it is that she trusted me, which resulted in her believing all the lies I spouted off to her. Some of them weren't but the more dramatic ones definitely were. I couldn't believe how she could keep believing me with all the stuff I was saying.

We hadn't hung out in two months because that's when things around her began changing. I couldn't speak like I used to; being in her presence made me feel things that I wasn't sure I wanted to feel. I was confused because one day she was just Bella. She was Bella who had help me cut off the hair to my sister's Barbies as retribution for bugging the crap out of me. Bella did it because she had thought of Barbies as demeaning to women. We both got into trouble, but we didn't care because we were in trouble together.

She was the Bella who had kicked Mike Newton in the junk in the seventh grade after he wouldn't take no for an answer, and tried to kiss her. When she later told me the story, I was angry. Who the hell did he think he was trying to kiss my… girl… best friend like that? He absolutely no right, and obviously he was scared of me because he avoided me like the plague for the rest of the school year. Not that I would've done anything at school, I wouldn't want to risk the wrath of my mother if she heard I had been thinking with my fists instead of my head.

Suddenly one day when she came out of her house so we could walk to school together, she was no longer the Bella I remembered. She was starting to fill out from the scrawny girl I remembered of my youth. Her hair was straight down instead of pinned back or in a ponytail. It was just past her shoulders in waves that I wanted to run my fingers through. I couldn't think of why I had this reaction to her all of a sudden. I mean I had always known she was a girl. It was rather obvious.

She wasn't even wearing her normal t-shirt and jeans causing me to stare at her oddly. "What?" She raised an eyebrow at me as she got closer.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. "N-nothing, you look different that's all." _Smooth Cullen, now you look like a stuttering dumbass. Wait since when did I care about what Bella thought of me…_

"Earth to Edward," Bella snapped in front my face. "Are you okay? You looked like you were lost in space." She giggled. She actually giggled. I hadn't heard her do that since we were eight or nine. Normally she would snort or guffaw when she was around me and Emmett, but today she sounded like a girl. _When did this happen?_

"Oh, what I'm sorry. What were you saying? I was kind of lost in my head." She rolled her pretty brown eyes at me. _When did I start sounding like such a pussy? _

"I said different how." It barely registered with me that we were walking because all I could focus on was the movement of her lips. They were mesmerizing, and for a second I considered what they would feel like against my own.

It took me a while to speak, and if she noticed my hesitation she didn't say anything. "Well, uh your hair is down." I told her lamely. I had to focus to keep myself from blushing because I sounded like a total idiot.

She gave me a look to ask if I was alright. "It's not the first time I've worn my hair down Edward."

I gulped. "I know, but normally you don't. And your clothes are different." _Now I was rambling, and making a complete fool out of myself._ "Let's hurry," I said to distract her from my moronic observations. "We are going to be late." She had forgotten by the end of the day about my stupidity, but it was that day that forever changed my relationship with one Bella Swan.

This of course, leads me to the last week of school. I've been playing cat and mouse for a while with Bella, and I can tell by the hurt looks she has given me that it's bothering her. Being her around her, however makes me irrational. However, the day before the last day is the one that caused me to make my decision regarding my friendship.

When I arrived home my dad's car was in the driveway, which was unusual because of the long hours he worked at the hospital. He was a surgeon and worked crazy hours at the hospital. He ran on a different schedule compared to the rest of my family.

I entered the house to find my parents sitting at the kitchen table with solemn expressions on their faces. They looked up when they heard me enter, and I could tell something big had happened. They calmly sat me down to explain to me that my grandfather had passed away earlier that morning. I stared at them in disbelief until laughter bubbled inside of me. For some reason, I began laughing uncontrollably because it must have been some sort of joke. When they didn't take back their words, tears began to stream down my face.

A hollow feeling took up residence in my heart that day. My grandfather had taught me so much. When I was three I was fascinated with the piano, and one day my grandfather decided to teach me how to play. My fingers couldn't quite keep up with his caliber at that point, but by the time I was six I no longer needed his help. That didn't mean I didn't like when he accompanied me. We had a close relationship, and I could tell him everything. We had gotten closer after my grandmother died a few months before. I spent more time with them than my sisters did.

I confided in him the week before my little situation with Bella. At first, he laughed like the douche he was. He thought the entire thing was hilarious, and told me that I was being a little pansy. My grandfather may have been loving at moments, but he also loved to make jokes. Boy did he laugh at me after I told him all the shit I had told Bella to get out of spending time with her.

"Oh sonny, you've got a long way to go. Your grandmother would have been much more helpful to you than I am." I tilted my head in curiosity. My nana, Elizabeth Masen was full of sage words. "Since you take after me, you'll have an endless supply of women. They'll want you, but remember you don't want to waste your time on just anyone. Before I met your grandmother, women were constantly draping themselves over me. Your grandmother knew I was no virgin when we got together, but she never asked how many. I always regretted that she wasn't my first. I was hers though. But Teddy, you've got to understand that for most people your first is special. You hold a place for them in your heart unless they're a complete bitch like mine was." I could tell by his face he was serious.

"First of all, no woman wants to know where your dick has been. It makes them jealous to know, and they start measuring themselves to the women before them. Second, just because they say they want to know doesn't mean they really do. Women don't think like we do, and most things are tied with emotion. Sex is one of those acts. I'm not saying that there isn't emotion tied into sex because there most definitely is. It is better when you love the person, and you aren't just trying to get yourself off. Third, it will only piss them off especially if you've slept with a large portion of women. You need to be careful with this girl. She's a good girl, and if you don't see yourself with her you need to make that clear. Don't hurt her though." My grandfather knew we had been friends forever, and he told me girls like nice guys.

I decided I would be the antithesis of a nice guy in light of everything that had happened. My grandfather had just talked to me the week before, and then he was gone. Anger built up inside of me, and I could only see red. Everyone always leaves. One day they're gone, and you realize you didn't say everything you wanted to. I forget to tell him goodbye and that I love him that day.

The next day, I didn't actually seek Bella out. We happened to collide in the cafeteria. She was wide-eyed and chewed on her lip as she watched me. I decided to take my opportunity at that moment, and grabbed her arm to drag her into the hallway.

"Edward, I heard about your grandfather. I'm sor-"

I cut her off. "Don't, don't say another goddamned word. I don't want to hear it." She looked frightened, but if that's what kept her away then so be it. "I don't want to be friends anymore Bella."

Tears began forming in her eyes, but I was beyond caring at that moment. Had it been months before I would've comforted her, and kicked anyone's ass who made her cry. Only this time it was me, and I was doing it to keep her from being hurt eventually. This would work out in the end.

"Wh-what are you saying? We've been best friends forever. Did I do something wrong Teddy?"

I flew into a rage at that moment. "My name is Edward, not fucking Teddy. Do you understand me?" I told her through gritted teeth. My eyes were probably blazing with anger. My grandfather was the one who began calling me Teddy since his name was Edward. He said it would be easier to distinguish between the two. "Now I am going to say this once," I told her in an emotionless voice. "Let us clear something up. We were never best friends." She was openly crying at this point at my cruel words. " How could we be? You know nothing about me." With that I strode away, and I didn't see Bella until the first day of ninth grade.

I left two weeks later for a special camp. The Edward she had known was gone, and when the first day rolled around, I pretended I didn't even know her. To say she was shocked would be an understatement. She probably thought that our little conversation before school got out was me mourning my grandfather, but it wasn't. It was me pushing away the best thing that had ever happened to me because I was an asshole.

I was a new person in ninth grade when I entered with my new girlfriend on my arm. However, there wasn't anything actually going on between us. She used me to make her ex jealous, while I used her to keep Bella away. If you don't have something, you can't lose it. If I lost Bella, I would be worse off than I was when my grandparents died. I saw Bella watching me, and put on a show with Tia. We flirted heavily with one another, but she was too into herself and getting her ex back for me to find any sort of feelings for her. She was a nice distraction sometimes, but her mindless chatter could bore anyone to death.

My grandfather had given me advice, but he didn't tell me how to get over a girl, especially when the girl in question was my former best friend. I watched her through the years as she grew into herself, and couldn't help but be jealous at all the guys who crowded her. She didn't show any interest, but that didn't mean one day she wouldn't. There was only one guy who got through her walls, but for some reason she dumped him a few months later. Unfortunately I was in the mess because my pubescent brain decided pushing away my best friend and telling her she meant nothing was the smart thing.

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**A/N- So is EC a douche or what? And what did you think of his grandfather? Kind of actually reminds me of my own. Boys and puberty**

**The song is Collide by Howie Day**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- Thank you to everyone who has followed this story. That means a lot to me. I still haven't really figured out a posting schedule so for now you'll have to deal with my erratic posts. I don't own Twilight, and all mistakes are my own**

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**Chapter 3**

**Bella's Guide to Getting Over a Falling Out**

**Step 1: Cry**

**Step 2: Get angry**

**Step 3: Mope because he doesn't want your friendship**

**Step 4: Ignore him because it gives you some sort of satisfaction**

**Step 5: Watch mournfully as he pushes everyone out of his life**

**Step 6: Take comfort in the fact that he misses you too even if **

**He is too stupid to actually admit it**

_Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor._

_Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore._

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?_

_For me it happens all the time_

BPOV

I hate how after everything he has done to me, I still subject myself to this torture of watching him from my window every day after school. It's the only glimpse I actually get of him because we have no classes. No one sees him in the halls, but he manages to make it on time to all of his classes. He's apparently too cool to eat lunch in the cafeteria with the rest of his.

He's become a recluse, yet somehow manages to be one of the single most desired boys in the entire school. All I hear every day at school is all the ways the little twits at Forks High can get him into their beds. I know he doesn't deserve any of the thoughts I've had about him since that fateful day, but just because he stopped being my friend doesn't mean anything. There was something else going on him with him at the time. I know it was tied with the deaths of his grandparents, but he never talked about those particular feelings with me. He started becoming secretive, and he spent more time with his grandfather.

He spent less time at home, well as far as I can tell because I was always there asking if he was home, only to be told he was at the home. To say it hurt was an understatement. I couldn't understand what I had done for him to ignore me the way he did. Of course, the day his grandfather died things had changed immensely. He was cold and distant. There was no trace of the boy I had known growing up.

There were some dark days in the beginning after he called off everything. I remember trying to talk to him one last time that last day.

_I was running to catch up to him. He was a few houses away from my own. "Edward, wait Edward..." I called after him desperately. I needed to understand. _

_He whirled around so fast that I almost flew into him. His eyes were sad. There wasn't a trace of the anger I had seen at school. He masked his features to appear as if he was devoid of emotion. "What do you want Bella?" He asked tiredly._

_I took a deep breath. "I want to know what I did. We've been friends since diapers, and now you don't want to be. Help me understand." I pleaded with him. _

_His hands were clenched at his side. "What is there to understand?"_

_"I know this has to do with your grandfather's death."_

_"You know nothing." He said, anger lacing his voice. _

_"You don't tell me anything. I would know if you explained it to me."_

_"Go home Bella, there's nothing to understand. Just respect my decisions, I'm protecting you." His eyes widened as if he had revealed something. If he did, I didn't entirely understand. _

_"Protect me from what?" I asked, taking a step closer. _

_"Nothing, forget I said anything. Go home and leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you. I've said everything I needed to say." He turned around, and continued walking._

_"Fine Edward Cullen, be a coward. When you want to talk though, I'll listen. You know I will." He didn't stop, but I could tell my words had affected him. _

I stood transfixed in front of my house as his back retreated down the street. The tears wouldn't stop, but I also couldn't make myself move. I collapsed in a heap of limbs in my front yard for anyone to see until my mother came out to investigate why I hadn't come inside. I began sobbing uncontrollably as she lifted me into her arms and carried me into the house.

I felt her wince as I screamed and pleaded desperately for Edward. She shushed me, and rocked me gently in her arms as I dozed off. My mind was numb and empty. Sleep was a relief that I was glad could be afforded to me at that moment because it was much better than the reality that Edward had chosen to end our lifelong friendship.

I heard hushed whispers as my mom spoke on the phone with presumably Esme. I overheard parts of her conversation, _well what did he say?_

"_He doesn't want to be her friend, why?"_

"_I couldn't get her to stop crying, is it a phase? Maybe some time apart is a good thing since they've been joined at the hip since they were children." _I drifted back to sleep as my mind tried to process my mother's words. It was too much for me to cope with, and I decided sleep was the best cure I could give myself.

When I awoke again, I was in my own bed surrounded by the comforts of my room. However, tears burned my eyes because my room screamed Edward. From the pictures that hung on the walls, to the A+ diorama on my bookshelf, everything reminded me of him. I couldn't escape him. He was everywhere. Anger filled my bones, and I had a desire to destroy.

I wanted to destroy it all. Anything with a hint of… him because it would make me feel better. With despair crushing in on my heart, I grabbed the picture frame off of my nightstand and with a flick of my wrist through it in the direction of my closet door. I heard the sound of breaking glass, which snapped me out of my fury immediately. Glass lingered on my floor, and I stared at it as the last remaining rays of the day came in through my window.

The sound of pounding footsteps in the hallway pushed me into action as I rushed across the room in an attempt to clear the glass. "Oh god, Bella what happened?" My mother's voice was thick with tears as she watched me from my doorway pick up the shattered pieces of my friendship. My father rushed in and grabbed me as my mother began cleaning up the mess I made.

My brother and sister poked their heads in to observe what was going on. Emmett was three years older than me, and was looking at a football scholarship to UW. He was huge and menacing, but inside was a big old teddy. He fiercely protective of my sister and I, but in this case he knew it was not his place to interfere. Though, I never actually saw a conversation take place between Emmett and him, I suspected there was more beneath the surface.

Maggie was ten and small. She had our mother's blonde hair with our father's big brown eyes. She was innocent, and didn't need to see what a basket case her sister had become. "Emmett, take Maggie to a movie or something." That wasn't a suggestion, it was an order. Emmett dragged Maggie away from the scene I was making, and we heard the front door close.

I was still begging for what, I do not know. I wanted them to let me go, but together they held on to me tightly as I cried out for my best friend. He was the only who could make all of the pain go away. The problem was I didn't know where he was because he most certainly not that guy who told me in a hollow voice we were never friends. My best friend would've never been so intentionally cruel to me, and I mourned the loss of him in my life.

When he came back after camp that summer he was someone else. Certainly, not the boy I had made mud pies with when we were five. He wasn't the boy who held my hand as I cried in the nurses' office waiting for my mom to pick me up because I broke my arm. He wasn't the one who beat up Mike Newton on the playground and forced him to apologize for making me cry. My Edward was gone, and in his place someone else had taken up residence.

I sighed before closing my curtains. There was no point in worrying myself about him anymore. He was as broken as me, only he pretended as if he wasn't. I headed downstairs where my sister sat at the island doing homework. She chewed on her lip thoughtfully as she read over her notes. She was now fourteen and a freshman. Emmett had gone off to UW and was flourishing. He was majoring in forensic anthropology after watching that show Bones. He decided after college he wouldn't go pro, but instead he would begin his work towards his masters and eventually his Doctorate.

My parents were beyond proud of him and his achievements that I often found myself a little envious. "Hey Mags," I ruffled my sister's hair. She scowled playfully at me as a small smile found its way onto my face.

"Watching him again?" My sister asked in a curious tone. I averted my eyes, and headed towards the fridge for a snack to deflect her. "Oh Bella," she sighed wistfully. "Why do you do this to yourself? Kate says that you should forget about him. He has been nothing but a jerk." Kate was one of Edward's three sisters who happened to be the same age as my own. "He comes home and hides away in his room until dinner. He is all mopey and disinterested in everything. He refuses to make conversation with the rest of the family. And he sees a therapist for anger issues. If you ask me, ending your friendship was the stupidest thing he ever did. I've studied some cases similar to his though. He's your typical I don't see anything left for me teen."

I rolled my eyes at her. "My sister the psychologist." I peeled my banana as I thought over her words. "Maggie it's not easy for me either. Even now a part of me is still missing, and I want to be angry with him so much for making decisions like that. His words cut me deeply, and yeah if he ever chose to be friends again I can't say I would just forgive him right away. I wouldn't deny him our friendship, but I wouldn't let it go back to the way things were because obviously they weren't as great as I thought they were. I won't be him."

Tears stung my eyes, and my felt sister's hand cover my own as she gently squeezed it as a show of comfort. I gave her the briefest of smiles to tell her I was fine. I was feeling emotionally overwhelmed, but I could feel myself calming down as I listened to my sister talk about her day. "Then Mr. Varner asked who threw the paper ball, but everyone only giggled. He got so angry and began ranting about classroom respect. It was so funny watching his face get all red. He was flustered, and then Ms. Copeland came in. His disposition immediately changed as he began flirting with her in front of all of us. It was gag worthy let me tell you." I always enjoyed listening to my sister and her drama free life.

My mom came through the garage door at that moment, her hands laden with groceries. I immediately offered my services as she sent me back out to her car to get the rest. "How about chicken alfredo for dinner tonight kiddos?" She asked as she began unpacking the groceries.

Maggie and I looked at each other and then blurted out a loud "YES!" We had always loved our mother's cooking, and Italian was a household favorite.

"Oh Emmett called and said he wouldn't be able to come home this weekend." I was saddened by this, but I accepted it. "Apparently there is some girl in his class that has finally caught his interest. He said it was a bit difficult getting her to accept, but last night after a study session in the library she finally relented." My spirits were uplifted because Em never asked out just anyone. He said they had to be special for him to even consider taking them out.

He had dealt with enough fake girls in high school, trying to get to him because of his status on the football team. He wanted a real woman, not shallow girls who didn't know the first thing about football. He had been telling me about this girl since last semester who practically refused to go out with him because he was a football player. He said he might have found the love of his life in her. He spent hours watching her study, eating, or talking to her friends.

He had accepted that she might never see him as more than I friend. I felt horrible for my brother when he said that, but thinking about it too deeply reminded me of my own situation.

I helped my mother prepare dinner, while sister finished her homework. My dad came in just as we were about to sit down for dinner. We always chatted about our days at dinner since we were always too caught up in our lives. My mom wanted us to have at least a meal together, and that included my father the police chief of our small town.

If he missed dinner, she would attempt to make him sleep on the couch, but ended up missing him too much. At forty-five years old my parents were still very much in love, though sometimes I could do without all the PDA. It was nice to know they had a healthy sex life, but seeing it was something else. My mother was actually a ninth grade English teacher and the coach of the swim team. My dad was practically the center of my mother's universe, and the same could be said in reverse.

Though my parents occasionally did argue they never forgot to tell the other how much they loved each other. They knew how short life could be especially with my dad's job, and didn't want their last words to one another to be ones of hate. I loved that about my parents. They never wasted a single day they spent together. I want that when I'm older.

He still looks at her as if she hung the moon and the stars. I watch them as they share secret smiles only meant for each other. Maggie giggles into her plate, and I kick her underneath the table. Maggie thinks it is adorable as well, but that doesn't mean she doesn't find it funny how they can tune out the rest of the world.

I clear my thought, which snaps my parents out whatever it was they were doing. My cheeks color as their attention focuses on me. "Uh, I am going out with Jess and Angie tonight. We were thinking of going to PA for a movie."

My father grumbles something underneath his breath, while my mother looks at me with smiling eyes. "That's fine sweetheart, just be home by curfew." She glances at him fondly. "Ignore him, he's only hoping there won't be boys." She rolls her eyes at his ridiculousness.

Maggie seizes the opportunity to ask if she can sleepover at Kate's. She gives my dad the lip and her best puppy dog eyes, and he melts at the sight of her. "You can go honey, but I don't want you walking out in the dark. Your sister will give you a ride." I groan, but inside excitement fills my veins. It is not often that I head towards that part of town.

Maggie and I take the dishes to the kitchen. Once we load the dishwasher, we rush up the stairs to get ready. It is finally Friday, and I am beyond excited to go out with my friends. I change into a pair of skinny jeans with a white camisole and black and blue flannel. I grab my black knee high boots from my closet, and quickly put them on. I swipe my purse from the hook on my closet door. My room has changed in many ways since that fateful day four years ago. I begged my parents to let me redecorate because I couldn't stand the memories. I burned most of the pictures, but I suspect my mother snuck a few. The diorama that we spent a weak building was burned as well. I repainted my walls from the childhood pink to mint green and lilac. I even convinced them to let me get a new bed because of all the sleepovers Edward and I had over the years. There was no trace of him left in this room because I hated the memories he tarnished with only his words. My sister is in the hallway once I exit the bathroom from doing my hair and make-up.

My sister kisses my parents goodnight, and tells them she will be back sometime on Sunday because they are going to Seattle tomorrow for some kind of music event. My parents trust Esme since she and my mom have been best friends since childhood. I tell them goodnight since they will have gone to bed by the time I get back.

We get into my 2011 Honda Accord, and we are off. When I drop Maggie off, I notice a crack in the blinds in Edward's room. The lights are off, but the blinds are slightly open. With one last glace at his window, I back out the driveway to pick up Jess and Angela.

PA is the nearest city where there are actual things to do. I love Forks, but it is the most boring place to be on weekends. We aren't actually going to the movies, but instead to a college party that some of our classmates have been talking about all week. Both Angela and Jessica are meeting their boyfriends there. Angela is being made the designated driver because it has been a long week for me, and my best friend tequila has been calling me all week.

Cars are lined past the driveway as music pumps through the night. Something tells me this will be a night I won't ever want to forget. I step out of the car ready for whatever the night brings me.

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**A/N- Well now we know what he did to her. You've also met Maggie who will make many more appearances. This is an E/B story, but I'm not going to make it easy for Edward to get back into her good graces. He destroyed a thirteen year friendship because he was too childish to admit he had feelings for the girl. Anyways leave a review to tell me what you liked, didn't like, what I'm doing wrong/right. I love hearing from you guys. **

**The song is Need You Now by Lady Antebellum **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N- This gives some insight to the life of Edward three years ago. Bella has no clue about any of this.**

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_The Past_

Esme's POV

I may be the mother of Edward, but Bella is my goddaughter. My son is an idiot. He thinks too much, and that leads him to make the stupidest decisions. He broke poor Bella's heart without caring how she would feel. I know he's been dealing with the loss of his grandparents, but I don't know why he would push her away of all people. He used to be able to talk to her about everything, but since the death of my mother, he's closed himself off a little more each day. I thought with time it would get better, but today has clearly proved it hasn't.

When he came home that day, it was like a stranger had stepped into his shoes. He didn't come into the kitchen to say hello. He locked himself in his bedroom. He told us all he hated us, and he said he wished he had never been born.

Then when Renee called me to tell me everything I didn't know what to do. I tried talking to him, but that got me nowhere. I decided to pay Bella a visit, in order to put everything in prospective.

Renee let me in, while I waited downstairs for Bella. Bella came into the living room with red, puffy eyes, and the saddest expression I had ever seen. I wanted to kick my son's ass in that moment for doing that to her.

"Hi sweetheart," I greeted her. She didn't sit next to me on the couch, but chose the recliner. She brought her knees to her chest, and laid her head on top of them.

"What can I do for you Esme?" She asked in a tired voice.

"Can you tell me what happened today?"

"Why don't you ask Ted- I mean Edward?" Tears formed in her eyes, and I didn't care in that moment whether she wanted to hug me or not. I wrapped her up in my arms, while she bawled her eyes out. "He hates me. He only wanted to be friends because of you and mom. He says I don't know home, that I can't possibly understand anything. He said something about protecting me, but tried to cover himself by acting like it was nothing." She cried into my chest. "What did I do?" She sobbed.

"Shh… shh… you did nothing sweetheart. Absolutely nothing wrong, this is all on Edward. He's an idiot. I should've seen this coming. But there is nothing to blame you for. This is only to be blamed on him. I'll talk to him later. He will apologize." I told her firmly.

She flew into a rage. "I don't want him to apologize because you're forcing him to. He has to mean it, and he never will. He hates me. He never wanted to be friends, and I will have to live with that. I guess I read the signs wrong. Just go Esme, I don't think I can see you anymore for right now. Go be with your son because he needs help." She turned away from me, and I knew that she was serious. She needed time. We all did.

When I got home, I had to kick open Edward's door because it was locked again. "What the hell is wrong with you? How could you say those things to her? Is that all your years of friendship were? Were you doing it to appease me?"

He stared at me wide-eyed before my eyes narrowed on something on his wrist. His eyes followed my direction, and he tried to pull his sweatshirt sleeve down. I grabbed his arm and rolled up the sleeve. "Edward, please tell me you haven't?" He avoided eye contact with me.

"It's not a big deal mom." He muttered underneath his breath.

"How long has this been going on?" I asked him.

"Who the hell cares? It's my body. Why should you care what I do with it? It isn't any of your business what I do with my life."

I grabbed his arm, and dragged him out of his bedroom. I forced him into the car so I could take him to the hospital. "I want to die mom." He told me candidly. "There is nothing good about this world. It's all one fucked up place. Why can't you let me?" I would've smacked him had we not been driving.

I had one of the nurses at the nurses' station page Carlisle because he needed to talk with his son. Carlisle looked out of breath when he reached us. He looked between the two of us, trying to discern what was wrong. "Talk to your son."

He kneeled in front of him. "What's wrong Teddy?" Edward's green eyes sparked with fire.

"Nothing is fucking wrong. SHE" he sneered, pointing at me, "is making a big deal out of nothing. My name is not Teddy. It's Edward."

"First of all, don't you dare take that tone with me. And that woman is your mother. You will show her the proper respect." He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Esme, why did you bring him here?"

"Roll up his sleeves, Carl." Edward protested immediately, but Carlisle was stronger than him.

I saw the tears in his eyes when he saw what our son had done to himself. "Edward, why would you do this to yourself?"

He turned away from his father. Carlisle grabbed his face, and forced him to look into his eyes. "I know you're upset about your grandparents dying in the same year, but that is life. Death is hard to accept, and makes us feel pain we are unaccustomed to."

"I don't care. I don't want to feel anything." There was no talking sense into him. Carlisle had a nurse treat the cuts, and we were off on our way back home. "I hate both of you. I hate everyone who believes in love."

"You don't mean that. If you push everyone away, one day you'll have no one."

"Maybe that's what I want. I want to be the most hated person in the entire world. I'm off to a good start don't you think?" I made no response to his comment because he was aggravating me. Carlisle said not to engage him in a fight because that's what he wants. "Kate hates me. Bella hates me. I'm Charlie and Renee do. Dad hates me. You hate me."

"Your father and I don't hate you. You know that too. We love you."

"Not enough," he mumbled. When we got home, he ran upstairs and slammed his door. I winced as the sound echoed through the house.

"Mom, where were you guys?" Tanya asked as I entered the kitchen. I sighed, trying to keep my tears at bay.

"Edward has been cutting himself. He told me he wants to die, and that he wants everyone to hate him."

"That's a bit dramatic even for him."

"He was closer to your grandparents. They loved the fact that they had a grandson they could spoil since the rest of you were all girls. Losing your nana was hard, but then he lost your grandpa. You guys also lost your cousin Sara last year. You remember how he doted on her, and visited her as often as he could when she was in the hospital. He told Bella he didn't want her friendship any longer. He did it in the cruelest way possible. I want to kick his ass for everything he's said."

Tanya nods her head mournfully. "He always has been a dumbass. I told you years ago he was going to screw up eventually." She shakes her head. "Mom I think you need to be aware of the fact how seriously Edward takes things. He's lived a pretty sheltered life. Nothing truly wicked has ever happened to him. When we lost Nana Elizabeth, Edward was a fucking mess. He didn't act that way around you because he felt he had to be strong. He wanted to support you. I caught him though in his room crying, and muttering about how unfair the world is."

I take a seat across from her. "Why didn't he or you tell me how upset he was?"

Tanya laughs softly. "Mom he's a boy. They don't think they should cry in public. Edward didn't see grandpa cry so of course he wasn't going to. When you and dad stayed with grandpa that night, I found Edward in the liquor cabinet. He was drinking vodka. I confiscated it from him. He begged me not to tell you guys, and promised as long as he never did it again. He also told me that was the night he was jealous of Bella. As you know she doesn't have grandparents, and doesn't know what it's like to lose them."

I sigh. "Has he been acting weird to you? I know you've only been home a few times in the last couple of months, but did you notice anything with him?"

She bites her lip. "Have you? I know that you and dad try to be there as much as possible, but sometimes things slip through the crack. Edward hasn't been right in a longtime. When Bella came to give her condolences he refused to see her. He didn't talk to anyone that weekend. He sat there staring at the coffin as everyone came to tell us what a great lady nana was. It was like he wasn't there."

I run a hand through my hair. "I know I've been busier than usual. Edward's baseball coach told me that Edward has skipped some practices, and that when he got benched he didn't complain. It was almost like he wanted that to happen. I missed the last parent teacher conferences as did your father so I don't really know about school. His last report card a few months ago wasn't great, but he said it was because he had been stressed."

She settles her hands over mine, and offers a small smile. "Edward makes excuses for everything lately. He hasn't hung out with Bella in a longtime if you haven't noticed. I'm barely around anymore, but Edward and Bella were always together. Haven't you noticed she never comes around?"

I cry because I've failed as a parent. Carlisle and I have been so wrapped up in our careers that we've let our parental responsibilities fall through the cracks. Carmen walks into the kitchen at the moment, and is startled by my appearance. She immediately rushes to kneel by me. "Are you alright mom?"

"She's upset because of our dumbass little brother."

"What did the asshole do now?"

"What hasn't that little shit done? He broke that sweet little girl Bella's heart. He's been drinking. You caught him with drugs." My head snaps up at that.

"You didn't mention any fucking drugs Tanya." She looks at me sheepishly. "I wasn't the one who caught him. Carmen did."

She nods. "It was when I was home for Easter. Edward was hanging out with some guys I had never seen before. They were sketchy looking, and were definitely high school age. When they saw me they ran, and Edward blew up at me. He said why the fuck did I have to go and do that. I noticed that there was something in his pocket, and grabbed it before he could. It was a joint. I asked if he had ever smoked one before, and he said what do you think. He tried to justify it by saying that everyone does it. It helps me relax and forget about things. I threw it out. I don't know if he's done it again or not."

"If you had concerns why didn't you come to me?"

They share a look. "Mom, you had enough stuff going on with grandpa and his health, and Tanya and I thought it could slide. We didn't know his dumbass would go and do what he did."

"He's been cutting himself. I saw the marks today."

"You're right Carmen and I should have told you he wasn't in the right mental state. It's just it wasn't like we had never done it before. Don't look at me like that, I was a teenager once, and I was social. We thought he was going through a phase. Maybe you and dad should talk to him."

I rest my head on the table. "We tried earlier. He hates us, and he wants everyone to hate him. He says it's better to be hated because no one will miss you when you're gone."

"That's a fucked up thing to say."

"Watch your language," I chastise. "You may be over eighteen, but this is my house. I am still your mother."

"Sorry mom," Tanya apologizes. "The only person he's talked to in the last few months is grandpa. Since I came down most weekends, he always asked me to drive him over. I asked about Bella, and he would respond with what about her. To say I was surprised by his words would be an understatement."

I give them both a hug and say goodnight because my head can't take much more of this. Edward has been suffering for months, and I didn't notice. I thought he had been a little withdrawn, but maybe he would just get over it. I brushed everything off, and made excuses for his behavior. Today was the last straw though. There was no reason for him to intentionally hurt Bella the way he did. She isn't the cause of his problems, and she's been nothing but sweet to him.

I enter his room to check on him, only to find he's not there. His window is wide open. I run downstairs. "Tanya call the cops Edward's gone. Carmen come with me so we can look for him." Carmen grabs her keys off the counter, and I grab mine. I drive through town trying to locate him. I keep calling Carlisle hoping he will answer. He finally answers on my tenth call. "Carlisle, he's gone." I sob into the phone. I pull over because I can't see with all the tears in my eyes.

"Sweetheart who's gone? Why are you crying?" He asks frantically.

"Edward, I-hiccup-went to check on him, and he wasn't there."

"Have you called Charlie?"

"Tanya did. What if something happens to him Carl? I'm the worst mother."

"Esme, darling tell me where you are."

"I'm at the diner."

"I'm on my way. I want you to stay there and wait. Can you do that for me?"

I nod, but then realize he can't see me. "Yes." He hangs up, and not ten minutes later pulls in beside me. He opens the door and I am in his arms. "This is all my fault. I am his mother, and didn't know anything was wrong with my own son."

"Shh… my love, don't worry we will find him. Then you can ground him until the end of time." I let out a watery chuckle.

Charlie POV

When my deputy calls me to tell me the Cullen boy is missing, I almost don't want to go in. However, I am reminded of my duties not only as the police chief but his godfather. I promised Esme and Carlisle that I would protect their son. He may have hurt my daughter, but that doesn't mean I'll stop caring for him.

I try calling Esme, but her phone is busy. I stop by the house, and Tanya is there. "Oh thank god you are here Charlie." I can see by her red rimmed eyes she has been crying.

"Can you tell me when you guys noticed he was missing?"

"I guess about thirty or forty minutes ago mom went to check on him. He was gone, and she came down the stairs in a panic. You can ask Kate if she has seen him."

"Alright I will be right back." Kate is in her room playing with her dolls.

"Hiya Chief," she smiles brightly at me.

"Hi Kate, do you mind if I ask you some questions about your brother?" She purses her lips, and that actions right there tells me she knows something.

"Is he in trouble?"

"Why would he be in trouble?"

She refuses to look me in the eyes. "He made mommy cry because he was doing bad things."

"Can you tell me what bad things he was doing?"

"Promise you won't tell anyone I told."

"I can't promise you that, but I can promise I will do everything I can to bring him safely home."

"I guess I can live with that. He's hurt himself. He uses one of daddy's scalpels to cut his arm. I saw him do it in the bathroom once. He said it helped him. I promised I wouldn't tell."

"Do you know where he might have gone?"

She glances towards her window. It happened so fast that one might never have noticed it. "He told me he's never coming back. He says nobody loves him. I told him I do. He said he's unlovable." Her little eyes begin to water, and I feel my heart break at the words coming from her mouth. "Can you go find him now?"

I nod at her. I notice his open door, and decide to take a peek around. It's surprisingly immaculate. Everything is in order. There isn't a speck of dust on any surface. All of his clothes are put away. However, his computer is on. I wiggle the mouse, and a word document pops up.

_To whom it may concern,_

_I, Edward A. Cullen have chosen to no longer live. I see nothing left for myself. This world is evil, and instead of waiting for it to kill me, I have taken action into my hands. I am deeply sorry, but I cannot live this life of misery anymore. Every day I suffer. And for what? I have no purpose left. I am nothing. _

_Sincerely,_

_E.A.C._

_And to Bella, _

_I am sorry. I didn't mean those words of hate. I wish I could apologize in person, but that will have to be one regret I take to the grave with me. I will miss you always. I was your friend because I wanted to be. I never pitied you. In fact, I return your feelings, only I was too cowardly to admit it. I hope you have a happy life. And don't ever take advice you know sounds bad because it probably is. _

_Yours forever,_

_Teddy_

Shit, the kid was planning to kill himself. I am out the back door before Tanya can ask anything. I can hear her behind me, but I don't stop. I know where he's going, The Old Bridge. I call for back up at the bridge. When I get there fifteen minutes later with Tanya hot on my heels, I see one of my deputies trying to talk him down.

"Come on, you don't really want to do that."

"Stay back, I will jump." I see Esme and Carlisle arriving at the scene, and I want to tell them to stay back. But if I yell it could frighten him. We don't need an accidental or purposeful death.

"Edward," I say softly, inching towards him. He turns his head towards me. "You don't want to do this." His eyes are filled with pain and tears. "I know it hurts, but you can get help. It won't always hurt. Think about your family, do you want your mother to see you jump off this bridge. Look at her," he looks at her, and turns back to me. "She's hysterical, but she loves you. And your sisters and father, they love you. I love you and so does Renee. Bella does. You have so many people who love you. You don't want me to have to go home and tell Bella that you're dead do you?"

"She wouldn't care." He says softly. "Not after everything I said."

"Edward, you've got so much to live for. I know it doesn't seem that way now in light of everything that has happened in your family, but you would be hurting people the way you're hurting right now. You think if Bella saw that note, she would be happy. She would be devastated. Now I want you to slowly climb down," I am standing behind now. Just as he's about to kneel down, he loses his balance.

Esme screams as I grab him in my arms. Esme and Carlisle rush to their son. Tanya runs to join her family. The EMTs allow Carlisle to take his son to the hospital himself. Edward will be placed on a suicide watch, and during that time his parents are going to try and figure out how to get him the help he needs.

Carlisle comes over to me before they leave. "I want to thank you for saving him Charlie."

"Don't worry about it, we've been friends a longtime. I love that kid even if he wasn't my godson. I know he hurt Bella, but I would never forgive myself if something happened to him."

"I don't want you to tell anyone about what happened tonight especially Bella. I think for the time being Edward needs to get away. I'll let you know when we finish ironing out the details, but I want you to keep her away. Edward needs time to heal and figure out things for himself." I nod in understanding. "I know I can't stop you from telling Renee since she's his godmother, but be discreet about it." We part ways.

Renee is sitting at the kitchen table when I get home. "Rough night?" I ask her.

She nods. She fiddles with her coffee cup. "Bella slept most of it. What about you? You left out of here without saying a word."

I grimace. "I'm not sure if I should tell you after everything else that has happened today."

"Did someone die?"

"Almost." I say.

"Who was it? Was it Mr. Miller? I know he's old and his driving isn't the greatest."

"It was Edward." I blurt.

She stops her movements and stares at me. "I'm sorry you're going to have to repeat that."

"Edward, your godson almost committed suicide tonight."

"Stop it Charlie, that's not a nice thing to say." I knew this would be upsetting to her, but we don't keep secrets.

"I'm serious honey. My deputy called earlier to tell me that he was missing. When I went over to the house, Tanya had said no one had seen him in a few hours. She told me I should talk to Kate. Kate helped a lot. Apparently, Edward had started cutting himself a few months back. He told Kate it helped make the pain go away. I asked her where he could've gone and her eyes flashed to the window. When I was leaving her room, I decided to check his to see if there were any clues. It was spotless. Everything was in its place, almost as if no one lived there. I noticed the computer, and when I jiggled the mouse… his suicide note popped up." Renee covers her mouth with her hands, while shaking her head.

"He was always a happy little boy. I don't understand."

"He's had some problems over the last few months. He said there was too much pain in the world, and that he didn't want a life of misery. He wrote to Bella as well. He apologized for his words, and wished things could be different. He was going to do it Renee. You should have seen his face. I had never seen a child with such serious expression before. Then he almost fell when he was coming down. I was close enough to catch him."

"Oh Charlie, where is he now?"

"At the hospital, his parents are going to have him under suicide watch. They don't want anyone to know including Bella. They want us to keep her away so that he can figure out everything."

"Yes, I can see where that might be best."

"He had planned it. I could tell by the careful choosing of his words. The cleanliness of his room. He was closing loose ends. Esme told me before they left Edward told her today he wanted to die. Not only that, but he wanted to die, hated by everyone."

"This is a mess. He needs more help than his parents can provide, doesn't he?" I don't answer, and we let the silence between us, comfort us. We both know the answer to that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 4**

**How to Ignore Bella Swan**

**Step 1: Try to ignore her presence**

**Step 2: Bump into her, knocking her down**

**Step 3: Apologize and then run off**

**Step 4: Try to avoid all girls especially crazy exes**

**Step 5: Punch Mike Newton because he doesn't know when to shut up**

**Step 6: Don't kiss her when she's drunk even though you really want to**

_Yeah, you've got that something_

_I think you'll understand_

_When I'll feel that something_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand _

EPOV

I hear Katie downstairs with Maggie as I watch Bella pull out of the driveway. I've learned how to avoid her over the years by intentionally scheduling my classes so they don't interfere with hers.

It's not her fault I don't want to see her. It's entirely my own. I was such a dumbass as a kid that I let the most incredible person in my life slip through my fingers. I can still see the tears and red nose from that summer day. Everyday I have to live with the fact that I didn't exactly make the best decisions for myself. In some warp twisted way I got satisfaction out of the fact that she was hurting; the only problem is she didn't hurt nearly as much as I was.

My grandmother's death had come as a shock of sorts. I knew Nana Elizabeth was in her early sixties, but there are people who live to be like a hundred. Why did my grandmother of all people have to die? I became angry at the world for taking someone as wonderful as her away from her family. My grandfather missed her as much as I did. I know my mother did too, but I couldn't talk to her. She was a mess, and my father was busy trying to keep the family afloat. I didn't know how to verbalize what it was that I was feeling. I wish I did because those feelings continued to build up inside of me. I became depressed, and I believed that no one understood me. My grandfather was probably the only person I could talk to.

I visited him every day afterschool instead of hanging out with Bella. It wasn't her fault she didn't know what was going on. I didn't tell her, but deep down I knew she wouldn't be able to relate anyways. Her grandparents had died before she was born so she never had to lose them. She may have been close to mine, but it isn't the same thing. My grandparents loved me from the moment I was born. They knew that I was sometimes overlooked at home because I had three sisters. I wasn't the youngest once Katie was born, and attention was redirected. My sisters were going through their teen years at the time, and my parents had their hands full. I didn't blame them. I was the only boy in an estrogen filled home. My grandparents were there for me in place of my parents at times. They tried to come to all of my baseball games. My grandfather taught me to play the piano. My grandmother taught me how to dance, and how to treat a girl properly. Losing them had been one of the hardest things I had to face in my entire life.

That summer was the single painful one I had ever experienced. My parents decided while I was on suicide watch that I needed professional help. They had realized how they had neglected me, but I wasn't angry at them. My beef was with life, the world. Spending time with other kids with similar issues really helped me understand some of the things I was facing. Group sessions were probably tougher than one on one sessions because I wasn't allowed to be quiet. They encourage you to talk because it's therapeutic. It sounds lame that talking helps, but in truth it does. Just being able to express your feelings, and have someone understand you does wonders. I still go back every summer because I've made friends, and it helps.

Coming back that first summer had been difficult. I met my first girlfriend at the library the day I returned home. We were more friends than anything though; there was no spark. We tried a lot, maybe a little too much. Tia was a sophomore, and still hopelessly in love with her boyfriend. I helped her get him back because I could relate with how miserable she was. He was absolutely jealous of us dating, and overjoyed when she admitted she was still in love with him. I have had other girlfriends, and we've done stuff. However, contrary to what those girls spread around about me, I am a virgin. Every time I even come close to having sex, my grandfather's words pop into my head. I don't want to have meaningless sex. I don't want to regret my first time later on, or at least the person who it was with. My grandfather did.

I attend therapy only twice a month compared to the twice a week it used to be. My therapist and I have come up with several coping techniques for me. He told me that I shouldn't wait around for Bella, but if I did want her I should apologize. We often say things we have been thinking when we are angry. We don't always mean what we're saying, but we've already struck our opponents at that point. Sometimes we want others to hurt at much as we do. I've tried to apologize on several occasions. The problem isn't me; it's Bella. She brushes me off. I eventually gave up after freshman year because the sting of rejection didn't feel too great. I remember the first time I attempted to apologize didn't go to well. I had waited for her afterschool on the first day because there was no I was going to do it where people could watch or overhear.

_"Bella," I said softly. Her posture stiffened, but she kept walking out the doors. "Bella, please." She whirled around, anger clearly present on her face. She looked as if she was battling between hugging me or punching me._

_"What could you possibly want from me Edward?" She was tired. _

_"I want to apologize for what happened before the summer."_

_She gently rubbed her temples. "Well, you know what I don't want to hear it. You could've written from baseball camp, or come to see me when you got home. You didn't. I had to find out you had a girlfriend when you came in parading her around."_

_I gaped at her. "What the hell Bella? Is that what you think of me? For one, I wasn't at baseball camp." She snorted._

_"Yeah and I'm the tooth fairy. Save your apology for someone who cares." She flipped me off and headed home. With my head down I followed her on the opposite side of the street. It was starting that day I wished that she didn't live on the way home. _

I tried dozens of times. I left her a birthday present for her fourteenth birthday, but I never heard back from her. I gave her a locket. I used my entire savings to buy it. There's a picture of each of us from when we were six in each of the windows. I left a Christmas present on her porch, yet I still never heard a word from her. I eventually came to the conclusion that we would never be friends again. I guess it was true what they say. If you love someone, set them free. I set Bella free when we were thirteen, and she never came back.

Seeing her has always caused an ache in my heart. Parties are the worst though because instead of sober girls, I had a bunch of drunk girls trying to get in bed with me. Let me tell you drunk girls with vomit breath are not attractive in the slightest. Sometimes Bella shows as well, and it's hard to see her when she's with a guy. A girl like her deserves someone whole anyways. I guess it's all for the best. A honk from the driveway pulls me from my thoughts. I grab my leather jacket and head out. I kiss my sister and mother before departing. Maggie gives me a thumbs up before I leave out the door.

Maggie and I have had a lot of opportunities to talk over the years and the kids is a genius. She listens to everything, and I have to admit I'm surprised her parents haven't tried to put her into a private school or something. She's hoping to become a psychologist when she's older, and has been practicing on me. I love that kid. She's understanding as is Emmett.

Emmett really helped me before he went off to college. He is the brother I never had; he helped me train for baseball. We never talked about his sister, and I knew he knew about what happened last summer. He never mentioned anything until I brought it up. He listened while I talked. He told me that maybe it was a good thing that I was branching out from his sister. Neither of us had ever been social, and he thought that we needed time apart to figure out who we are. He was right. I didn't know who I was without Bella as my best friend. It gave me the opportunity to make new friends.

When I get to the car, Jake and Tyler are arguing as usual about who can get the most chicks. I roll my eyes at their behavior. They love it when we go to parties because all the girls I reject are easy for them to pick up. They're idiots, but they are my idiots. I slide into the backseat, and both of them start talking about the part. "A lot of PA kids are going to be there too so there won't be any slim pickings." Jake cackles.

I snort loudly. "You two are disgusting you know that right?"

"Whatever bro, just because you don't want any action doesn't mean we don't. When you reject them, they come crying to us for a shoulder to cry on. Then next thing you know they are all over us." I cringe at his words because I do have sisters. I don't want to think of anyone doing that to my sisters. Carmen and Tanya may be older, but I'm still protective. There's also my cousin Alice who was like another sister to me growing up.

The party has been going for a couple of hours by the time we arrive. Half the people are already drunk, and it's only ten. I spot some people around a bong. I tried that shit once, and it was the worst experience of my life. I never touched it again. I grab a beer from one of the coolers, and hangout on the back deck with some of the guys from the baseball team. I head back inside to get some more beers when I see her at the kitchen table. I stiffen as I notice her chew on her lip nervously when she spots me. I however, don't stop to talk to her, and grab the beers and leave. I hear a disappointed sigh leave her lips, but I still don't say anything.

After a couple of more beers, I begin to feel the effects of the alcohol coursing through my system. I head inside to find Jake or Tyler. Of course, who should I run into but one Bella Swan? I don't notice at first who it is until I go to help them up. "Sorry about that, hear let me help you." I offer my hand, which she takes. A spark shoots through my arm at her touch, and as soon as she is up, I take off. But not before calling over my shoulder and apologizing again.

I fall onto a seat on the couch when a bunch of girls decide flock over to me. I try to avoid their advances because I've dated a few of them. They don't know when it's over though. My older sisters tease me endlessly, but they also have names for some of these girls. The worst offender is Michelle. We dated for a month until she started getting really obsessed. She followed me; she checked my phone. She called me constantly. If I so much as glanced in another girl's direction she knew. I broke up with her because she was way too damn clingy. She was hot as fuck, but she was crazy.

I end up excusing myself, muttering something about using the restroom. Obviously God has it in for me tonight because I run into Mike Fucking Newton as I go back outside. His dumbass makes the stupid decision to run his damn mouth about Bella. He pretends not to notice me, but I know the fucker can see me perfectly.

"Oh yeah I had her pinned under me, and she was moaning my name so loud. She was tight as a bitch too. I pounded into her pussy like there was no tomorrow. She came and told me she wanted it harder and faster. I told her baby, I'm going to fuck you so hard you won't be able to talk or walk." Even if I did believe him, I still would punch him in his stupid face for talking all that shit about Bella.

He looks up at me and smirks, and that is all it takes before my fist connects with his face. Being the drunk ass that he is, he falls flat on his butt. I would do more to him, but I know he's not worth it. "You piece of shit. If I ever hear you say another fucking word about her, I'll kick your ass. Then I'll go tell Emmett Swan, you remember him don't you?" I ask him. He nods his head with fear in his. _That's right asshole, you should be scared._ "I don't think he would appreciate all the shit you've said about his sister. Now keep your goddamn mouth shut and stay away from Bella." He whimpers. He actually fucking whimpered like the pansy ass he is. He quickly pushes himself off the ground and retreats.

His buddies follow right behind him. That's when Bella comes out of nowhere with a pissed off expression on her face. I sigh and rake my hand through my hair. It's a nervous tendency I've had for the last several years. It is either that or I'll pinch my nose when I'm really frustrated.

"I didn't need you to defend me. I don't understand why you did it anyways. You're an asshole." I flinch at her words. The anger that simmers in her tone frightens me somewhat. I duck my head knowing that I deserve whatever she has to say. "You lost the right to defend me four years ago. It could have been you that was my boyfriend. You ruined that though. You never gave a real reason. And your bullshit apologies mean nothing to me. You don't mean them."

Fuck, what have I done to her? I thought she would be way better off without my friendship. "What the fuck? Of course I meant it. Yeah, I was the douche that told you, you were basically nothing to me. That couldn't have been further from the truth. I was so fucked up at the time though. But you're the one not letting it go. I've tried to apologize, and I'm done. You didn't listen to me when I tried to tell you everything so know what fuck it."

I can smell the scent of her shampoo. It smells like strawberries, and she's beautiful. Her hair spirals down in curls, while she wears minimal make-up. Her jeans are fitted perfectly to her figure, and her shirt shows the perfect amount of cleavage. I'm a guy, and tits are always one of the first things I notice on a girl.

"You are a coward Edward Cullen. You promised me the future, and let me tell you that you failed. So you tried to fucking apologize, and win me over with stupid gifts. Big fucking whoop, I can't erase the words. You need help."

I wince. "I have a therapist so I think I'm on the right track."

Her eyes snap to mine. "What?"

"I go to therapy twice a month, thank you. You would know that if you had listened when I tried to tell you what was going on that year. As usual though, it's all about Bella. What everyone has done to poor you. The world doesn't revolve around Bella Swan. We all have our own fucked up problems, but I don't see how you do. You're life is the same as usual. Have a nice life." I'm pissed as hell because I told her more than I wanted to.

I find Angela who is definitely sober, and she agrees to drive Bella back to Forks. I can tell by the curious glances she shoots me that she wants to know how I even know Bella needs a ride, but she bites her tongue.

I round up Tyler and Jake, and have Tyler drive us back since he was the only who hadn't had a drop of alcohol all night. I spend the rest of the night with my head in the toilet, wishing I could go back four years and take it all back.

I don't know how we can ever be friends again. Everything is a mess, and Bella doesn't know the crucial points of the story. She only knows what directly happened to her. If she refuses to listen, there's not much I can do.

The girls are already asleep when I peek in on them. I quietly close the door, and head to my bedroom. I slide under the sheets without even taking off my clothes. Sleep overcomes me, and I am thankful. There are too many thoughts running around in my head. My dreams are filled with awkward first kisses, play dates, jokes, and every other moment I ever spent with… Bella


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 5**

**How to play mind games**

**Step 1: He has a girlfriend so get a boyfriend**

**Step 2: Make sure he sees you with your boyfriend**

**Step 3: Ignore his attempts to apologize**

**Step 5: Get a new wardrobe**

**Step 6: Become self-actualized **

_I wanna hold 'em like they do in Texas, please_

_Fold 'em, let 'em, hit me, raise it, baby, stay with me (I love it)_

_Love game intuition play the cards with Spades to start_

_And after he's been hooked I'll play the one that's on his heart_

BPOV

Consciousness hits me like a mac truck. My head is pounding, and the light bothers my eyes. I peel my face off of the bathroom floor. I try to remember how I ended up on Jessica's bathroom floor. The last thing I remember is watching Edward and his skanks. I've seen him at least make out with them at a few parties. He can deny that all he wants, but he wanted them.

This train of thought directs me back to my idiotic kiss last night. I groan because that was definitely a mistake. Rejection also courses through my veins because he pushed me away. When the kiss ended I realized how much of a mistake it was. I was glad when Angela dragged me away because I wouldn't be able to face him again.

It reminds me of the games we used to play with one another two years ago. Parties used to be our opportunities to fuck with each other, and do everything could to piss off one another.

_Two years ago_

_He had been dating Tia for six months when they broke up. I thought maybe he would talk to me again, but that most definitely was not the case. He decided to date Erica Marks. They have been dating for almost a year now. I hate Erica because she was a bitch. She constantly talked shit about me in the locker room like I couldn't hear what she was saying. _

_That was the final straw for me. I decided that if a guy asked me out I would say yes. I need to stop pining for a guy who will never return my affections. Luckily, a few hours later Brandon Anderson stops by my locker and asks me out for pizza. Brandon is on the baseball team with Edward, and Edward despises him. They have played together since little league, and him and Brandon have gotten into it a few times. _

_I agree and throw my arms around him for extra measure. Everyone will know in the next thirty minutes. IF anything was going to piss off Edward it would be this. He gives me a light peck on the cheek, which causes me to blush. When Jessica and Angela hear the news, it is all we can talk about on the way home._

_I notice Edward on the other side of the street with a grimace on his face. It makes me feel victorious knowing he can hear every single word I am saying. He had his chance and blew it. I bid Jessica and Angela goodbye as I walk up my driveway. _

"_Hey Swan," I hear Edward call. I take a deep breath because I don't want to get angry. _

_I swirl around, surprised to find him right behind me. "Yes?" I ask._

"_I hear you and Brandon are going on a date."_

_I cross my arms. "You heard right." He looks gob smacked to hear me actually admit it. "Just because you didn't see anything in me, doesn't mean other guys don't. Why don't you go fuck yourself?"_

"_Fine, I don't care anyways. I was only going to apologize."_

_I laugh derisively. "You wouldn't know an apology if it bit you on the ass. I've realized your friendship meant nothing to me. You meant nothing to me. We were children who were basically forced to hang with each other. I should thank you for doing me a favor and ending it first." I can see the hurt written all over his face before he rearranges his features into a blank mask._

"_Whatever Bella," he turns around and walks down the street. Inside I feel as if my heart is breaking all over again. If anything I am as bad as him. That was a low blow. _

_I try to brush it off as I head up to my room to get ready for my date. It keeps nagging at me, but by the time Brandon arrives my mind is clear. I decided to wear a pair of skinny jeans and a nice blouse. I grab my pea coat from the hall closet, and a pair of black ankle boots. _

_My father is sizing him up, while my mother nudges him in the side. He relents and tells him to have me home by ten. He holds out his arm and we walk out the house. He opens the door for me, and then closes it once I am seated. He takes me to a pizza place in The Port. _

_They have the best pizza in the area. Brandon is nice, and we talk about everything over dinner. He even takes me to see the romantic comedy I had wanted to see for a while. We hold hands, and I can't stop staring at our laced fingers. He notices my lingering eyes, and brings my hand up to his mouth. He doesn't try any funny business at the movies. _

_When he walks to me to my front door, there is a content smile on my face. "I had a great time Bella. Do you mind if we did it again?" I bite my lip but nod my head. "Can I kiss you?" Again I only nod. I release my lip and his lips descend upon mine. _

_It's a kiss. It's sweet and tender, but lacking passion. That's not his fault though. That is mine. He doesn't know that I've already met the one who stole my heart. We go out on several more dates, and on our fifth one he asks me to be his girlfriend. Of course, my immediate answer is yes. _

_I see Edward less and less as time goes on. And when I do see him he glares at me. Jessica and Angela have gotten me to cave and hangout with them. It's already April, and Jessica just got her license. She decides this warrants a shopping trip in Seattle. I go to my mom first because my dad will reject the idea. My mom tends to be more lenient about things, and since Emmett has an apartment in Seattle we could stay with him. My dad seems agreeable to that, and makes me promise to call him once we get there. He even gives me a hundred extra dollars to spend. That's my dad's way of saying have fun._

_It is a long three hours to Seattle and I fall asleep on the way there. It's a little after one when Jessica wakes me to tell me we're here. "Gosh, I can't believe I finally have my license." She squeals. I can't believe she does either. Jess may be a bit eccentric at times, but she's always been responsible. Sometimes though it's hard to believe she's older than me. "Come on let's go get our shop on." This is the first time any of us has been in Seattle with our parents, and it's liberating. _

_We go through tons of stores and end up buying tons of clothes. We have dinner in the food court where we are finally able to catch up with one another. "So," Angela says as she dips her fry in ketchup. "How are things with Brandon?"_

_My face heats up. I don't like being put on the spot, and they both have expectant expressions on their faces. "They're good I guess." I stir my fork around. "He's nice enough. I don't love him though." _

_They share a look with each other, and that can't be good. Jess takes a deep breath as if she's preparing herself. "Don't get mad at me for what I am about to say. Maybe it's because you're already in love with someone else. I've noticed how your eyes search for someone who isn't there when you're with Brandon. You always are sad and withdrawn." My eyes drop to my plate not willing to look at her as she continues. "Bella, I know he has tried apologizing several times." My head snaps up and I glare at her. _

"_How do you know?" I growl at her. As far as I knew, no one else had known about all of his failed attempts at apologizing._

_If she's shocked by my reaction, she doesn't show it. "He isn't really dating Erica. She's a lesbian, and her parents wouldn't approve. He's doing her a favor because he caught her crying afterschool one day. I overheard Edward attempting and failing to apologize to you. We've been best friends for a long time maybe not as long as you were with him, but I know you. You won't forgive him because you don't think he's being genuine . I don't want you to make any decisions based on what I've told you. Angela has something to say as well."_

_My eyes shift to Angela who looks nervous. "Bella, do you remember how I went to that camp last summer when my mom died?" I nod my head. "Well it's a camp for kids who have suffered from loss or have problems in general. It's basically a therapy camp. I was surprised that Edward was there, but it wasn't his first year there. My dad actually got the recommendation from his parents. Apparently last summer he attempted to kill himself." My eyes widen in shock because I should've known this."We had group therapy sessions at camp where we talked about our feelings, and reasons why we were there. All I know is that you're dad and one of his deputies had to talk him down from the Old Bridge__. He left a suicide note and everything. His parents kept it a secret, and your dad never reported the incident."_

_I duck my head. Truth be told I never considered anything from his point of view before. I had assumed that he went to baseball camp since that was where he was originally going. I never thought his parents would put him in a camp like that. I never thought he would do anything like that. "This is too much to process. It doesn't make a difference anyways. I can't picture the boy I grew up with doing all those things."_

"_We never said it did," Jess says. "But you've got realize he's got his own problems. He's almost sixteen, and none of us really knows how to handle life. I'm not saying you should forgive him. Have compassion though because the Bella I know would never be this spiteful. The old you would never purposefully date a guy to hurt another one. You've even changed your clothes so you dress more like Lauren and Maria. Two wrongs don't make a right. I know that sounds cliché, but hurting Edward back isn't going to make you feel better."_

_Jessica's words strike a chord with me. I've never something as cruel as what I'm doing right now. Brandon needs a girl who genuinely wants to be with him. "When Edward does eventually apologize and you actually want to listen to his words, don't be the girl who is sitting in front me."_

I think about Jessica's words and last night. I remember Edward's reactions to Mike, and how he basically threatened him if he spoke ill of me again. There was something remorseful in the way that he did it. He didn't defend himself against my hateful words, and he stopped me from doing something I would regret. I've been so determined to see all the bad.

EPOV

I wake up in my bed, wishing I hadn't drank some of those beers last night. There's aspirin and a glass of water on the nightstand. Once I'm showered and dressed, I go downstairs to find something to eat. Maggie is the only one in the kitchen.

"Kate's gone to take her shower. How was last night?" She asks as she places a glass of orange juice in front me.

I grimace at her. "Not one of my best that's for sure." I down the glass, and she refills it. She slides an omelet in front of me. I grin at her because she's awesome. "Thanks." She shrugs as if it's nothing.

"I don't understand why you can't apologize. Yeah, words hurt, but Bella is old enough to know that you can't hold things against people forever. In a way, this is her protecting herself from getting hurt. Remember Brandon?" I make a face at her.

"I try not to. I'm glad he moved."

She giggles. "Yes, I wasn't fond of him either. He was a bit of a meathead. I still don't know what she saw in him. Remember when you kicked his ass after he hit her when she broke up with him. Bella never did figure out who did it. I'm glad it was you." She takes the seat across from me.

"That stuff doesn't really make up for what I did. I hurt her in the worst way possible."

"She did the same to you. Look Edward I am not making excuses for either of your actions, but I'm tired of seeing you guys pine away like a bunch of love sick puppies. You need to figure out how to earn her forgiveness, while she needs to do the same. Nothing changes unless you want it to. Bella refused to listen to you because she thought you were apologizing out of guilt. She didn't believe you meant it. Maybe at the time you said those words to her you weren't capable of an actual apology because you were barely aware of your own feelings. But she had the whole summer to cool off, and you did say you sent her letters. I just don't know what there is to do now. Maybe you should cut your losses and move on." How this fourteen year old got to be this smart I'll never know.

"I know Maggie." She was right. We can't keep blaming each other forever. It gets us nowhere, and playing these stupid games is childish. If you want something bad enough, you've got to work for it. And if you're not prepared to fight for it, then you have to let it go.


	7. Author's Note

Alright, I want you guys to give me all your questions. I know your somewhat confused on everything going on. I want to explain it as best I can without revealing what's going to happen.

Let me clear up some things I do know of. Jessica and Angela weren't trying to guilt Bella into anything. They were only making her realize that she didn't want to be with Brandon. They wanted her to know that Edward distanced himself on purpose, but that doesn't mean she should forgive him by any means. She just needs to understand that there's more to it than him all of a sudden saying I don't want to be friends.

Second of all, no one is blaming Bella for dating Brandon. It's her reasons that they are blaming her for. She only dated him to get back at Edward. She wanted him to feel what she was. She was trying to be someone she's not, and is slowly realizing how lost she is. It's not Bella's fault for Edward's actions.

Thirdly, Edward is still a virgin. He may have dated some girls, but that doesn't mean he's had sex with them.

And lastly, there is no need to attack me. I hate when people review under guests and spew shit about other people. Of course, I don't think it is a girl's fault if she was raped because of what she was wearing. Why the hell would I condone that? I wouldn't want that to happen to me, and it's not my fault if someone chose to attack me because of how I was dressed. That is their fault. Don't attack who you think I am because you think you know me. You most certainly don't. Grow the fuck up, and realize it's a goddamn story, not life. I'm not saying it's Bella's fault for what happened when they were thirteen. I'm saying revenge doesn't make you feel better.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N- I've decided to continue with the story for some strange reason. The characters just won't leave me alone, and the only way to rid my thoughts of them is to write. I've gone back and changed a lot in previous chapters so you may want to go back and re-read before you read this one. All mistakes are mine. This chapter takes place while Edward is at camp.**

* * *

**Three Years Ago**

EPOV

_Week 1_

This camp isn't like any camp I've ever attended. The kids here aren't exactly happy, well neither am I for that matter. My parents sent me here because they think I need fucking therapy. I'm perfectly okay, but according to them I haven't properly mourned. Instead I have let all of my feelings build up inside, which resulted in me distancing myself from those who could potentially hurt me.

That's garbage that therapists say to get you to think you need help.

_Week 2_

I don't think my parents will be coming to get me anytime soon. I refuse to speak during group sessions. I may be bereaved, but I don't need help. All the other kids talk about their problems, and how it's affected them currently.

_Week 3_

Today was the first day I shared during group. Hearing all of the other kids' stories has changed me in some ways. There are those who are here because they've tried to kill themselves as well. I guess knowing that there are others who share my experiences is helpful.

I also wrote my first letter to Bella. I doubt she will actually read it. She'll probably rip it up, and I would deserve that.

_Dear Bella,_

_I don't know if you will read this or not. I hope you are, otherwise I feel stupid writing this. But it needs to be said. I lied to you that last day of school. I could never mean those words that came out of my mouth. It was like someone had taken over my body and said all those words. _

_You're my best friend. You're also my first crush. I wish I could tell you everything with me is fine, but it most definitely isn't. I know you think I'm probably at baseball camp, but that is simply not the truth. This will come as a shock to you, but I attempted to kill myself by jumping off the Old Bridge. Your dad is truly a hero. He saved me in more ways than one, and I don't know if I can ever truly thank him. He more than likely hates me anyways for what I did to you. _

_My parents sent me to a therapy camp. They enrolled me immediately after getting some recommendations during my hospital stay. It's hard to realize your problems when they're in your face. Sometimes you have to take a step back to see what is at the root of it all. I haven't quite gotten there yet, but I will keep you posted. _

_Love,_

_Edward _

_P.S. If you do read this, you're not obligated in any way to reply._

_Week 4_

I've started forming friendships with some of the others here. There's Morgan who overdosed last year. She's sixteen, and when she was five her parents abandoned her at the grocery story. She never got over it, and her adopted parents never thought of it as a problem until they got the call that there daughter was in the hospital getting her stomach pumped. She's stronger than I could ever hope to be.

Tommy watched his brother die in front of his eyes. They were on their way to a concert to see his favorite band when a truck hit them. His brother got the brunt of it, while Tommy walked away with a mild concussion, some scratches, a broken leg, and some fractured ribs. He blames himself.

Then there's Sophie. She's the sweetest girl you could meet. She's twelve, and she slit her wrist open six months ago. She hasn't shared most of her story yet, but us, newbies rarely ever do during the beginning. We prefer to hear the returnees' stories as their more comfortable sharing.

_Dear Bella,_

_Camp is going as well as can be expected at this point. I've made some friends who've gone through some difficult times as well. I guess it's easy to think you're the only one to suffer loss or pain because it isn't like others are forthcoming about their lives. You can't look at someone and say, "Oh you have the perfect life" because the truth is they probably haven't. People put on acts to hide their true emotions, and that's what I was doing. _

_I was hiding who I was. It hurt to be Teddy, your best friend. Teddy had lost his baby cousin, his grandmother, and though he didn't know it, he was going to lose his grandfather. That doesn't excuse my actions of course, but sometimes grief overwhelms you. One of the counselors here specializes in grief. She told me it is easy for people to get lost in their grief. They focus on the pain instead of trying to focus on the positive things in their life. _

_I don't have much free time left. I'll write to you later on._

_Yours,_

_Edward_

_Week 5_

We went on a hike, and it reminded me of home. Being in the woods reminded me of all the times I played in the ones behind my house as a child. I'm slowly coming to grips with the loss of members of my family. That doesn't mean I am alright with it, but I'm realizing that death is part of life. People have to go when it's their time even if those of us who remain behind don't want them to leave. But loss doesn't just pertain to death, in Morgan's case she had to deal with the loss of her parents' presence in her life. I don't know how a person can get over the fact that their parents abandoned them.

_Dear Bella, _

_I guess you have probably discarded my letters. I deserve it for my behavior. Pushing you away may have seemed easy from your point of view, but it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. At the time, I thought it was for your own good that you stay away from me. Now I am not so sure for whose benefit it was for. _

_Part of me thinks that it was more for my own than yours. For you, my grandparents' death wasn't significant in your life. You mostly saw them during the holidays. They weren't an integral part of your life like they were mine, and in a way I envied you. You had no idea what it felt like to suffer a loss. Yours died before you were born, and you never had to deal with that. _

_I know your life hasn't been perfect, but that's something that has never happened to you. Well until me that is. I guess I caused a loss in your life. For me, it had been rational at the time. I could save myself the hurt that inevitably come because people don't remain friends forever. _

_Love,_

_Edward_

_The Return_

The summer was winding down, and I was sad when it was time to go home. I had made amazing friends here, and we bonded in a way others never would. We promised to stay in contact, and we hugged once more before rides started appearing.

My parents and Kate looked different. Kate was tanner than usual, and her hair was lighter as well. My parents seemed carefree. They were relaxed, which was the complete opposite of how I saw them last.

"Oh Edward," my mother squealed. "You've grown." My mother and I had been around the same height at the beginning of summer. She was 5'9', which was pretty tall. I was at least six foot now. Her auburn hair was slightly shorter now, but as curly as it ever was. She cupped my face. "How are you sweetheart? Did you have a good summer?"

I groaned and tried to push her hands away. "Mom, I don't need you to baby me. I am fine. The summer was great." I didn't tell them about the letters to Bella once we were in the car. I did tell them about everything else, but that was personal. No need to inform them that I had more than likely ruined relations between our family and theirs.

As soon as I was home, I inhaled deeply loving the smell of my house. My room was just how I left it. I began to unpack because I had nothing else to do. After I told my mom I was going out. I could see she was worried. "Don't worry I have my phone, and I'm only walking to the library." She surprised me by wrapping her arms around me. "I missed you too mom."

She playfully pushed me out of the door. "You're an ass kisser just like your father." I rolled my eyes at her before leaving. She had always told me that I had inherited my father's penchant for being an ass kisser. Most people wouldn't believe it looking at her, but my mother definitely had a way with words especially swear words.

Now I may have met my first girlfriend at the library that day, but she wasn't the only female I saw that day. Bella was there. Her hair had been chopped to her shoulders, and it looked like she had thinned out. She was a little chubby when we were children, but I guess the fat redistributed itself. She had come into her own, and damnit all if her legs weren't the first thing I noticed on her. Her shorts really emphasized that feature of her body. They seemed endless, and they were toned and tanned. She was beautiful as I watched her read to the younger children. I wanted to talk to her, but I wasn't sure how well she would respond considering she never replied back to any of my letters.

I sighed and turned away when I bumped into a girl. The books she was carrying fell to the floor, and I quickly reached down to pick them up. "Thank you," she blushed. She was pretty with her dirty blonde hair and big blue eyes. She was of average build and height, but I found her interesting to talk to.

"Would you like to go get ice cream?" I had no clue why I asked her, but it felt nice.

She tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. "Sure, why not. But I think I should know your name before I go anywhere with you."

I blushed. My mother would smack the shit out of me if she found out I had forgotten my manners. "It's Edward, Edward Cullen."

"Tia Allen," she offers her hand, which I promptly take.


End file.
